Tactfulness

21 Adar II 5782

“He sent Moshe, His servant; Aaron, whom He had chosen.” (Tehillim 105:26)

G‑d sent Moshe and Aaron specifically to take the Jews out of Egypt and bring them to Eretz Yisroel. Moshe’s soul rooted in truth and Aaron’s soul rooted in compassion complemented and completed each other in their leadership of the Jewish people. Their relationship was one between equals.

“Moshe heard this, and it was favorable in his eyes” (Vayikra 10:20)

Also, the disagreement between Moshe and Aaron was one between equals. When Moshe Rabbeinu, the recipient of Hashem’s entire Torah, realized Aaron was correct about mourner’s not eating sacrifices that would also be sacrificed in future generations, he immediately conceded to the truth, and was even pleased by it. As it says in Pirkei Avot, “There are seven things that characterize a boor, and seven that characterize a wise man. A wise man does not speak before one who is greater than him in wisdom or age. He does not interrupt his fellow’s words. He does not hasten to answer. His questions are on the subject and his answers to the point. He responds to first things first and to latter things later. Concerning what he did not hear, he says ‘I did not hear.’ He concedes to the truth. With the boor, the reverse of all these is the case.”

Avot d’Rabbi Natan relates this to our case, “‘He does not interrupt his fellow’s words’—this is Aaron, who though he had an answer to Moshe’s charge, waited in silence until Moshe had concluded speaking. ‘He concedes to the truth’—this is Moshe, who admitted that Aaron was in the right.”

“The divine soul does not need to perfect itself through mitzvos; rather, the goal of mitzvos is to draw down G‑dly light to perfect the vital soul and the body. This is accomplished by means of the letters of speech, which the soul utters by means of the five organs of verbal articulation and through the mitzvos of action, which the soul performs by means of the body’s other organs.” (Lessons in Tanya, Likutei Amarim, beginning of Chapter 38)

Tanya teaches us that the words we speak and the behavior we show towards others have the greatest impact on our vital soul and our entire mission in this world. Hence, we must, like Moshe and Aaron, be vigilant about the way we treat each other, and conduct all disagreements in Torah with the prescribed tactfulness and objectivity.