Teshuvah Out of Love

27 Nissan 5782

“When the L‑rd will return the exiles of Zion, we will have been like dreamers.” (Tehillim 126:1)

Like awakening from a dream, when all previous actions turn out to have only been imagination, so too, with the coming of Moshiach, all our previous actions will be eclipsed by a new level of reality. Our previous sins will be completely nullified by the light of G‑d’s countenance, which will be openly revealed in the world, so much so, that “our mouth will be filled with laughter, and our tongue with songs of joy” (Tehillim 126:2).

“However, such a case—where the wicked and sinful person should suddenly attain a love of G‑d and become a penitent, where love precedes fear, is an extraordinary occurrence, and an ’emergency prescription’ through G‑d’s particular providence as the occasion requires, as happened with Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya, who had been sinful and suddenly became a penitent, repenting out of a love for G‑d. Indeed, so intense was his penitence that it caused his soul to depart his body.” (Lessons in Tanya, Likutei Amarim, end of Chapter 43)

We also see this level of complete teshuvah, where all previous sins are nullified and forgotten, even turned into merits, in today’s Tanya portion. Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya was the “reincarnated soul (gilgul) of Yochanan the High Priest, who served in that office for eighty years and then became a Sadducee. All the Torah and mitzvot fulfilled by Yochanan were elevated through the transmigration of his soul into the body of Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya, whose life story followed the reverse course, that of a sinner who ultimately repented out of his love for G‑d.” Rabbi Elazar ben Durdaya’s teshuvah out of love was so powerful that it not only uplifted his own existence, but even that of his previous gilgulim.

“You shall fulfill My ordinances and observe My statutes, to follow them. I am the L‑rd, your God.” (Vayikra 18:4)

Being as that both cases of teshuvah described above are unique gifts from Hashem, which He does not bestowed upon all, we must find another way to advance our spiritual service from our own efforts until we are bestowed with the ultimate redemption, the coming of Moshiach. Today’s Torah portion teaches us how. The apparently superfluous “follow them” in this verse is explained by Rashi to mean, “Do not take leave from studying them, i.e., you shall not say, ‘I have learned the wisdom of Israel-now I will go and learn the wisdom of the other nations.’” This comes to teach us that even when we feel we have done our part, we can always increase and increase in our study and involvement in Hashem’s Torah.